What Fell Off Me This Year — And What I’m Rising Into

Rupture

This was supposed to be a year of momentum.
Graduating from my leadership program. Growing in my teaching. Launching into the next level of service.
Instead, it was a year of rupture.

But like Brené Brown says in Rising Strong:

“The irony is that we attempt to disown our difficult stories to appear more whole or more acceptable, but our wholeness — even our leadership — actually depends on the integration of those stories.”

So I’m not disowning mine.
This year cracked something open in me.
And I’m finally starting to see that maybe… it needed to.

Reckoning

If things had gone smoothly — if I’d kept getting green lights and small challenges I could solve with better strategy — I’d still be striving for approval in a system that doesn’t deserve my striving.

But I saw too much this year.
I saw how power can erase.
I saw how people I once admired chose safety over truth.
I saw how “professionalism” was used to silence, not protect.

I used to believe in changing from within.
Now I believe in changing with integrity.
And that means no longer shrinking to fit leadership models built on control, erasure, and fear.

As Brené writes:

“The most transformative and resilient leaders are the ones who can hold the tension of both vulnerability and courage.”

That’s what I’m learning to do.

Rumble

This year, I stopped chasing approval.
Not out of bitterness, but because I finally saw the price.

Approval, in some systems, requires silence.
It requires swallowing your questions, diluting your creativity, and smiling while injustice is carried out “by the book.”

I can’t do that anymore.
And strangely — that’s where my leadership began.

Revolution

What’s left is quieter, but truer.

I’m not here to be perfect.
I’m here to be real.
To lead honoring what I’ve survived, so those in my care. don’t experience the same.
To speak truth, make space, and create systems where people don’t have to disappear in order to belong.

And if that means standing outside the circle?

I’ll bring the matches — not to burn it all down,
but to light the way for anyone else ready to step into something more honest.

This is what rising strong looks like for me.
It’s not polished.
But it’s mine.
And that makes it enough.

Have you had a rupture that reshaped your leadership?
Let’s name it, own it, and rise strong — together.